Coming Up Roses
(an article I read on Hornfans.com)

So here we are, the night before the biggest game for the University of Texas in my lifetime. When we defeated CU for the Big 12 title 4 weeks ago, I assumed we were going to face an endless parade of hype surrounding one of the greatest potential match-ups ever in college football until the gun sounded and the ball was kicked off. That assumption was partially correct. The hype has certainly been there…for USC. What baffles me is the utter lack of credit handed to this Texas team by virtually all pundits within the media. Tom Deinhart and a few others aside, most of what we can count on is that, at best, we can come close in a shootout. Nevermind actually winning…

USC brings plenty to the table, as even the talking heads from obscure channels like CSTV and Fox Sports have paid witness, but the details of the Texas demise have been greatly exaggerated. When we lay an incredibly smooth buttfucking down on this USC squad, this team will be answering more than just the question of what a Trojan is good for. Among other questions, let's address some preliminarily.

"But, Pete Carroll has 4 weeks to prepare!?!"

Well, listen, the guy is going to need it. This defense he's fielding isn't what he, or any discerning USC fan, should be used to comparatively typing. They're young all over the field and they're decidedly average on top of that. Oscar Lua may one day wind up being talented at something other than physically assaulting someone 75 pounds his lesser, but as of right now, he brings little to the table at MLB. His counterparts in the LB corps are pedestrian at best and they're better than Carroll's corners. The DL is ok, but it's nothing this Texas offense hasn't faced before.

Anyone paying attention to what the USC sources are saying knows that USC thinks they're going to throw some things at VY that he's never seen before. They also think they've been preparing well for him with one of their TEs or H-Backs. Haven't we heard that before? The reality is, they have no concept of the whirlwind they're about to reap. VY is inimitable and certainly can't be compared to some guy of comparable size at the H-Back spot. Let them go on believing that they're ready for him, as so many have done before. The one team that actually defended this offense ok, the Buckeyes, had strong LB play to actually almost play a role in controlling VY. Not even they could get the W and those LBs have men like Oscar Lua in their stool.

USC's defense and the wizard Pete Carroll do have several things going for them that should give us all pause. One, they lead the nation in turnover margin. Two, their secondary is trained to recognize patterns as they present themselves throughout a game and then fill those lanes as the game goes on in order to make quick picks and pile on the turnovers. I have zero doubt that Texas will turn the ball over a few times. VY fumbles a lot. It is the nature in which he handles the ball. He'll probably throw a pick or two as well. Doesn't matter. Nothing gets to this guy and I've been watching him since High School and I am typing that. He's playing behind one of the best OLs in all of CFB and he's not going to be consistently under pressure against this mediocre defense. The 4 weeks this guy is spending with his defense will be served in trying to help them get to a point where they can tread water against the most electric offense in college football not named USC.

"But…this is a home game for USC!?!"

If I could punch people through the radio, Colin Cowheard and several other talking asshats would be dead right now. This isn't a home game for USC. They don't play their home games at the Rose Bowl. Texas will be there a week before the game begins. Both teams have to go through the same festivities and bullshit. UT will come close to splitting the coverage in the stands. What is it that's going to work to their advantage in regard to atmosphere? Is the nice weather going to be too shocking for Texas? The beautiful women? Seems like we have some of that already in Austin. Perhaps it is the emptiness of the people and the absolute vapidity of their fanbase that will throw us? Tough to say. I do know that their fans are like the Sooners of the west coast. Their sense of entitlement to the throne is nauseating. How soon they forget the level of suck they had achieved before Carroll came along.

"But…they've been there before!?!"

No doubt. They've been there once more than we have. Apparently, we're all supposed to forget that they didn't even get invited to the national title game 2 years ago. There was no pressure on them in their BCS game at the end of the 2003 season. If they lost, well, ok. If they won, the AP had basically guaranteed the country that they were going to fuck the system and give USC the trophy. So they've been there one less time than the OU players had been when they both walked on to the field last year. It certainly played a role going against USC, didn't it?

The fact that the Trojans are riding this wave of publicity and hype works in our favor. I'm glad they're the favorite. It fills them with a certain amount of hubris, which is unavoidable. They're more likely to approach this Texas team with insouciance, given their prior trouncings of other "worthy opponents". All of that works in our favor. Moreover, it has put a chip on our players' shoulders. They know they're good and they're getting no love. This will no doubt force the pimphand UT wields to be much stronger than previously forecasted.

"But they've got Bush! and Leinart!?!"

There is no denying the level of talent they have offensively. Bush is a once every 10 years kind of guy. Leinart is damned good, unflappable, and throws with precision. They have talent behind those two offensively. Loads of it. Steve Smith is good when he feels like showing up. When they remember that Dominique Byrd is on the squad, he's excellent. Jarrett is as good as it gets. Lendale White is a tough runner and a likely 1st round pick when he comes out. Kalil, Justice, Lutui, and Matua are tremendous blockers. There's a reason these guys are undefeated and have more yardage than any other team in CFB this year.

Of course, they do have to go up against a defense that is unlike any they've faced. All month long, we've heard about USC's speed. We've never seen anything like it, etc. Did I miss something? This is fucking Texas, bitches. We're inundated with speed and we've played plenty of teams with it, such as OU and tOSU. The question is, has USC seen speed like ours? That answer is simple: No. The highest ranked defense these imbeciles have played all year is ..36 Arkansas. Notre Dame is in the bottom half of all 117 teams. 5 of their remaining 10 opponents are in the bottom 17 of the entire nation. None of the defenses they've played match up well with them at all. We do.

We have a dominant defensive line that can apply pressure and defend the run. White is not going to do much at all up the middle. We have a strong middle linebacker in Harris, who's now healthy. Killebrew has really come on at OLB and can help against both the run and the pass. And then there's the secondary, which is the best in the country. The safety tandem of Huff and Griffin is unmatched. They're going to give the WR corps of USC fits, as will the CBs. Brown, Griffin and Ross are all starters for any other team in the country. We'll take away Jarrett and Smith for the most part and we should be able to bring pressure on Leinart. So that leaves Bush. We've got to spy him and do our damnedest to keep him from going nuts. One thing's for sure - he won't run through us like he did UCLA and Fresno. We're faster, we're better schemed, and we tackle.

"But they dominated the PAC 10 and they're the best all-around team we'll play in this lifetime!?!"

The PAC 10 looks worse than my ass pressed firmly against a mirror. They haven't played defense in that conference since the Truman administration. Arizona State struggled last night with Big East power Rutgers, at home no less. This is the same ASU that's been repeatedly referenced as a formidable opponent to USC. 22 posters from this board, as inept as some of you are at even completing sentences and walking and chewing gum at the same time, could field a competitive team in the PAC 10 this year. The notion that USC dominating the PAC 10 has any credence towards them beating Texas is patently absurd.

The best all-around team argument is also one of the more obscene takes I've read or heard from any of the mouthbreathing sycophants following the SC heroics. They have a great offense. The notion that that makes them the best team ever, even before they've won the title, is insulting. Their special teams are scarier than clowns and midgets for the pro-SC viewers and pundits. They punt like their fanbase types, ranking 115 out of 117 nationally. Bush is worse than mediocre on both punt and kick returns, averaging below the team's own average, which is weak in the first place. They're 67th nationally in kickoff return yardage defense and dead last nationally at 117 in punt return yardage defense. Oddly enough, we're great on returns in both areas. The game may well be won or lost in special teams and we're have the upper hand and it isn't even remotely close. I expect at least 10 points to be scored in this game on STs, and it wouldn't surprised me if we scored twice on our own. Beyond STs, we covered the mediocrity incarnate that is their defense.

The claims of best team ever seem ridiculously premature. Statistically, we're a superior team. We're also the underdog getting no love. We've got a tremendous scheme guy on the defensive side and one of the best college football players ever at QB and he's got something to prove. I expect us to walk into the Rose Bowl for a second time in 370 days and let our nuts hang loud and proud. Once we punch USC in the mouth and give them a swift atomic wedgie, maybe they'll realize we're not Fresno or UCLA and they're going to be forced to play up. It should be fun.

I like us 52-42, with them putting on a late surge.